Why, Hello There!

I have come to realize that I am a callous blogger. I mean, what other word can describe a person who starts a relationship and then leaves it, simply out of boredom. That's just not right. People want to know, did we pick our florist, are we going with a dj or an IPOD, and what oh what will I be wearing on my head next June? You do, don't you?

Well, in any case, you deserve some attention now and then. Although let's be honest, this attention is really my attention, or rather paying attention to me. Blogging is a strange and fascinating phenomenom. I just saw Julie and Julia, which was a nice movie, but the Julie character's relationship to her readers and her own ego was foreign to me. I guess that means I won't be writing a book to be made into a movie about myself anytime soon.

But I digress, dear friends. The wedding. The wedding is what we've come here to talk about. And talk about it, we shall. Talk. Talk. Talk. Today, FP and I decided that we accomplished a lot of wedding planning by looking at photographer websites and talking about what we wanted and what we were willing to pay. I have realized that most of wedding planning is talking. The decision, once made, is quick. Yes, we are having a luncheon wedding. Deposit is down. We are in. Snap. It was the months of talking and exploring our options that were so excruciating.

But it has to be done. Wouldn't you feel just a little bit guilty if your wedding planning was easy? I mean, don't you care about your wedding? How can you not stress out about the BIGGEST day of your life? Everyone you care about will be there. Don't you want to make sure that it's perfect? Don't you want to guarantee that it's fun? How do we know you're getting married if you're not constantly fretting about your wedding and reading wedding magazines? This is the state of the modern wedding.

Anyway it's silly. We know it's silly, but we still do it. We know what's important and what's not, but we are social creatures, subject to the influences and pressures of the world around us. So be it.

Wedding? What wedding?

It's absolutely true that the wedding will take up whatever space in your life that you let it. I feel like I went from obsessing about all the details and figuring out all the logistics of the event every day to not thinking about it for weeks. I finally delegated tasks to good ol' FP, and he is happily not doing anything about it, and I honestly don't care. I guess at some point, we'll have to do the invitations, but that is months and months away. Right now, we're just going through the normal ups and downs for two imperfect people making and sharing a life together.

Although it's not all "doing laundry and watching Jeopardy" bliss in our household. We bought our wedding rings! Michael C. Fina had a sample sale. We went to look at rings, found two that we liked, had a moment, and decided, why wait? We got a great deal and beautiful rings. Woohoo! We're getting closer and closer to this whole wedding/marriage thing.

Martha Stewart is a genius.

(image from Martha Stewart)

Martha suggested a money-saving option for the cake. Buy different-sized sheet cakes and stack them yourself with cake dowels, which are easily available at any bakery supply store or I think, probably Michael's. You get your tiers without the sticker shock.

As some of you may know, I was planning on baking the wedding cake myself, and I've been practicing. Upon further thought, I think it may be too much to do. We have a big guest list and no time. I don't know. I still might, or perhaps I'll bake a groom's cake. I change my mind on everything so why not this?

Anyway this idea from Martha is brilliant. We don't want a fancy cake. We'd prefer a clean, simple design. With this, we would save money and get the cake look we'd like.

I am an unabashed thief.

We went to a stunning wedding last weekend at the Airlie Center in Warrenton, VA. Lush, serene grounds and gardens. And the center is green-certified. You get to have a gorgeous wedding and lessen the environmental impact of your event. Pretty cool, huh? I hope this trend will increase.

Anyway, check this out. Instead of having a guest book, they had a marriage certificate made and all the guests signed it as witnesses. I think this is a great idea, and I will totally will steal it. Also, I'll probably try to steal the bride's talent, as she is a gifted graphic designer and crafter.

Other ideas I will steal:

Bubbles for the send-off. We're getting married in the daytime. I'm thinking bubbles and pinwheels.

Colorful Japanese lanterns in the pavilion.

Wish bottle. My friend had a beautiful glass bottle and strips of nice paper. People wrote well-wishes for the couple, rolled it up, and stuck it in. They opened it on their one-year anniversary. Cute, huh?

Anything on Martha Stewart that is brightly colored and doesn't require too much work.

I swear this will be the last wedding(s) I'll ever have. . .

Onto plan 563.1a, folks. That's right. We and our families have finally settled on one of the numerous iterations of our wedding, and we have signed a binding contract. You see, the fire hall is ready to give us our deposit back if we changed our minds more than 60 days before the event. And apparently we did change our minds. I just wasn't really aware of it. Or maybe I was, and I was ignoring my parents' suggestions to consider other venues because frankly I was tired of looking for a venue that suited everyone, so I chose a venue that didn't really suit anyone.

Anyway it came to light that my parents didn't want to have the reception at the fire hall, and they were willing to cut the guest list so that we could afford to have the reception at a nicer venue. Who am I to argue with that?

The bad news was that the Bristow Manor Golf Club was booked for the evening of June 19, 2010. Ack! This is what happens when you don't actually communicate for several months. The good news is that they were available for a daytime reception. We thought about changing our date and redoing all the work we had done to book the church, etc. And then we decided it was just easier to keep the date and do the wedding in the morning (which it was already scheduled as such) and a wedding brunch instead of an evening reception. Then, we'd have the Cambodian ceremony and lunch the next day. This is our compromise.

My parents' compromise is we'll do the complete Cambodian wedding (not the shortened version as originally planned) plus the Chinese wedding banquet on Sunday night. They will pay for it on their own. They will invite less to the Saturday event, but they will invite whoever they want to the Sunday event. They will do all the planning for Sunday. And so we will be having the wedding that we want on Saturday, AND the wedding that they want on Sunday. Which of course, makes the total cost of the wedding(s) sort of ridiculous. But it is a small price to pay for their happiness and the removal of blockages in further wedding planning.

So yes, we are having two weddings. It will be sort of crazy, but it was always going to be. I hope that now it will be fairly smooth sailing to next June. Wish me luck!


This is our new venue: Bristow Manor Golf Club.

The Guest List

After the hard part--you know, the growing as a couple to the point when you're ready to get married, is the hard part--making a guest list. This is somewhere between the hard part--finding a venue and the hard part--everything else it seems. But anyway we came up with an easy way to figure out who we want to be surrounded by on our wedding. Auditions. Yes. Auditions. If it works for American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance (I just discovered these shows. Yes, I've been living under a rock.), why can't it work for us?

FP suggested that we can have people sample a chicken florentine or a beef wellington to see if they can properly appreciate it. I think we can have a pseudo-dance marathon--"We Are Family" on repeat and the ones who can bust a move the longest are getting invitations to Virginia! There could also be speed conversation sessions. Can you talk to me in less than thirty seconds?

Maybe a simple questionnaire would suffice. How quickly can you go through a buffet line? Do you know how to work other people's cameras, if requested? Have you ever been dropped on your head on the dance floor?

How else could we possibly choose who to invite?

Can You Feel the Love?

This past weekend, FP's parents threw us a spectacular engagement party in New York. Yes, we are the kind of couple that gets two engagement parties. Don't be gel-ous.

Anyway this party and the one my parents threw for us back in March in Virginia serve as reminders that we are not the only ones who are excited we're getting married. Now, we don't like a lot of fuss and attention, but being at these parties and just seeing all the people who are genuinely joyful about our future together helps me realize that we have a good thing going. No marriage exists in isolation, and we are incredibly lucky to have the loving support of so many strong couples and strong individuals. I know that even if the centerpieces are gauche or the DJ plays "We are Family" on repeat, our wedding will be rocking. June 19, 2010! Woohoo!!

Also, we are good-looking people. Check out the pictures.