Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Keeping it real with that other person who's also getting married on your wedding day

For some reason I thought that knowing someone for going on 9 years and navigating a relationship through breakups, the Peace Corps, and life in New York City would make this planning business be a piece of cake. Wrong.

Our conversations go like this:
Me: Hey! Look at this gingham-patterned padded invitation! It's so cute and country.
FP (uh, foreign prince, of course): uh, okay
Me: What! You don't like it. I can't believe you're forcing me to get married in such a lame way.
FP: uh, what?
Me: It's okay. I still want to marry you.
FP: uh, I'm glad?

So we have different tastes. Sort of. Actually I've realized that the issue is not that we disagree, but that I have this unrealistic notion that we need to always be in sync because if we disagree, it means that our wedding will be worse for it. And I'll be honest, when I say in sync, I mean doing it my way. An equal partnership is actually what I am seeking and requires work, so here is my mantra, which I will be repeating many times throughout this whole process: let it go.

However, any tips on actually keeping it real with your hubby-to-be would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!


Sara E. Cotner said...

Yeah, planning a wedding together is a good test of your relationship. It's a huge lesson is being more mindful, more willing to compromise, more patient, and more understanding.

In other words, it's good practice for marriage!

Meghan said...

When I went with HtB to look at the boat that we're planning to reserve for the reception, I countered it with the fact that we went to a baseball game that night. Reward his efforts.

ChendaBride said...

Thanks for reading and for the advice!

Sarah said...

I can only assume FP was watching sports during this conversation.